Well.. This week has been full of it's ups and downs.
Friday we met with Hector and Blanca.. as I was planning things to prepare for their baptism (That was planned for this Saturday) Hector stopped me and told me he felt rushed.. He said that his goal was to decide on being baptized this weekend (if he received his answer) and NOT that he'd be baptized this weekend.. that kinda threw me back a few steps.. I wasn't there when my companion put the fecha but he told me he was under the same impression that they were planning on being baptized this weekend. it was kinda like a punch in the face.. but we're gonna keep working with them and try to help him see that he's got an answer.. that sometimes God doesn't give huge answers and even less when we demand them.. I hope he's humble enough to take it.
Saturday we missed half of priesthood session.. but it was worth it.. we had a lesson with a young woman named Diana. She's been coming to church for the last 7 weeks and comes all by herself.. She really feels good there and tells us that she has no shame to tell her friends at school that she's going to the Mormon church. The bishop's wife (Also YW president) gave her a YW medallion to prepare her to earn her personal progress (Something just 3 weeks earlier she told us sounded boring and that she didn't want to do) and she wears that medallion EVERYWHERE and is now excited to earn the Personal Progress medallion. She says she feels proud wearing it.. not proud of the necklace.. but proud that it represents the changes shes made to get where she is. She's learning to pray every night and reminds herself to do so by placing the Book of Mormon on her pillow (I told her about prayer rocks a few weeks ago but she decided the book of Mormon was more appropriate I guess.) She's been telling us that she's been kept up late thinking about being baptised.. and told us she'd like to do it. We decided Friday that we should invite her to be baptised on a specific date.. the 18th of October. When we invited her to be baptised she was really hesitant.. her father goes to another church and is an ex military man who she describes as being "bien duro" y "muy enojado" and she's afraid to tell him. We decided to take a step back and analyze things.. I reminded her about how her father took it when she started going to church. He was angry at first and didn't like the idea but with time he became accustomed to the idea and now has no rejections that she do so. I told her that putting a goal to be baptised would give her that strength to tell her father that she was going to do it.. and that maybe at first he'd oppose but that if she kept praying, specifically for him, and always reminded him (with love) that she was still planning on getting baptised.. he, as well as before, would become accustomed to the idea and would allow her to be baptised. After having told her that I asked her when SHE would like to be baptised so that SHE could have the strength to tell her father that it was her decision.. after a pause she looked up and told us that she would like her goal to be the 18th of October and that she'd try her hardest to make sure her father was okay with the idea (She has the mother's approval already).
I'm really grateful for that experience I had.. I felt when I was in that lesson that I was a real missionary.. and then it hit me after I thought that, that I should ALWAYS feel that way.. I'm not sure what's been happening to me in these last few months.. Maybe for my companion.. maybe for my lack of spiritual strength or maybe because I'm really not that good of a missionary but I felt really sad after that lesson.. I still wonder WHY is it that even though I'm struggling and pushing and doing everything I can.. That I STILL don't feel like I'm as good as my childhood heroes.. My older Brothers.. Those men in black who I've always looked up to.
I'm making this next week count.. I'm going to try with all I've got but I'd like your prayers, love and support as I try my hardest to become who I've been struggling all my life to become.. I can't do this on my own.
I Love you all!
Elder Hyrum Clark