Monday, December 15, 2014

15/12/2014 - "Do.. do you have a first-aid kit handy?.."

Dear Family y Friends,
 I'm doing okay.. there aren't many Q'eqchi' speakers out here in El
Estor.. but theres enough that I'll be able to practice if I look for
the opportunities. I plan on looking.. I just have to figure out how
to control my companion first! :P
  It's quite the place out here.. I feel like "pollo comprado" or
"fish outta water" as they say in Inglish. Everyone out here (with
exception to El Estor) is pure q'eqchi' elders who speak like deamons
and make me feel like I have no idea what I'm doing here. We had our
Christmas Conference on Friday (we watched Frozen, I loved it and it
made me think of my nieces and nephews), I felt really alone there.. I
mean from being in the office I "know" a lot of the Elders.. but I
don't really know any of them! I got hit by a HUGE wave of culture
shock.. and may or may not have started to hyperventalate causing me
to get extremely light headed and almost pass out. Yeah, yeah, I know,
leave it to Hyrum to freak out like a little girl and almost faint in
the middle of everyone being happy and celebrating Christmas. I think
it's from the whole being so alone, not knowing anyone, not having
anyone to talk to, the pressures of my new (and probably most
difficult) area, pressures by elders to be dissobediant and my normal,
typical self not having ANY confidence in me to make it through.
  I feel like my mission has been a HUGE roolercoaster of emotions and
has left me extremely tattered.. I've never been so emotionally tried
by the Lord before! I feel like singing the Danity Kane song: Damaged
(hence the subject of the letter). I'm glad the Lord thinks I'm strong
but sometimes I don't feel like I'm as strong as He thinks! I feel
like I could break any minute! But I know that I'd never let myself do
it.. Mostly because I'd never forgive myself.
  I'm kinda excited to take on this LAST (I hope) challenge before
heading home.. I still have the hope of going home at the end of April
but if president doesn't accept my extention then I'll be heading home
on March 19th.. Probably arriving around 1-3pm.. That comes from being
in the office too long.. I know too many details.
 Well I hopwe you're all doing great! Love you all and hope things are
going super spectacular!

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